Today was transfer day and I'm currently sitting on my couch in my pjs (at 2 pm) with my fur babies and my hand protectively sitting on my belly where 2 little embryos are resting comfortably!!
First things first... There's a grieving process to realize that you can't conceive. Your body is failing at doing the one thing it is built to do, get pregnant. After almost 6 long years we finally gave up on the hope of conceiving naturally, sought help and did what we had to do!
First is the testing... Before you even get offered treatment you feel as if everyone and their mother has seen your who-ha and you don't even care if it ends up on YouTube or Facebook. You've lost all dignity.
The results are in they're looking good and you're waiting for the call to get offered treatment. A couple months go by and when it feels like they've forgotten you paid the few hundred to get on that list, they call!!
You pay your thousands, go get your meds and your timeline and are overwhelmed at the number of syringes and vials and the underwhelmed at the small bottle of pills... You quickly realize that you are a freaking pro at administering needles and after a couple days they take you no time at all!!
Then the monitoring sessions. The first one our doctor looked at me and apologized.. "We're not comfortable with the amount of follicles are stimulating... There's just not enough. We'd like to give you two more days but you only have 2 follicles that may work. We might have to terminate the IVF and do insemination instead". Heart drops, tears flow, breath catches. The doctor and nurse frantically look for Kleenex as the comment "$10,000 and you can't give me Kleenex?" Flys in their direction.
I went to work and then home in a daze all the while praying hard, I called my family and they prayed hard.
Second session: I went in again and found out just how awesome God is and all of a sudden I have just enough follicles!! The nurse knows me and explains the risks but says something I'll be forever grateful for "IVF is great but God is better"!
Third session: The next day I have even more follicles and despite the nurse saying I may not have anything to freeze the day before retrieval day comes and they take 5 eggs! 5 EGGS!! From 2 follicles to 5 eggs!!
The clinic calls the next day and says that 4 fertilized and all of a sudden we have four little babies sitting in a dish at the clinic! They call every day to tell us how they're doing and before we knew it we were holding hands outside the clinic praying that he's with us as we walk in...
We walk in and see the two cutest bunches of cells ever... We watch everything as they suck up our little babies into a catheter and transfer them to my uterus! They give us a couple minutes and we pray again for God to protect those babies and my body and that this is his plan..
You wish you could savor the moment but crap you have to pee!! Time ticks on and you're craving a toilet, bucket, whatever!!
You finally go pee, get dressed and look around the clinic as you put a hand on that belly and think "I hope I never have to come back here"
2 little embryos... 2 little babies and 2 people that can not wait to take a test to confirm that our dreams are going to come true. We are finally going to be called Mommy and Daddy!
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