To walk into that appointment hand in hand with my husband I was trying to put on a brave face, an excited face but I was trembling inside. Scared out of my wits that they would put that monitor on my belly and have a straight face and inform us that they need to get the doctor and there is no heartbeat... this was my fear...
Sometimes I need to understand, or be reminded rather, that God is much bigger than my fears... as soon as we got that monitor on my belly that baby moved... and moved and moved... and she/he waved to us as we watched her/him move in my belly. The tech zoomed in and showed us that little heartbeat, counted the fingers, showed us its cute little feet and how it crossed its ankles to get comfortable... She showed us her/his little bladder and how it was as full as mine and when I was able to use the washroom baby stretched out, finally happy to be having the room it needs to move around.
Words can not describe the feeling that I am having right now as I sit here and relive the moment. It amazing how in that moment, that second I saw our little girl/boy move all of my worries just disappeared and I was overwhelmed with love for our unborn, but beautiful miracle from God.
I have been accused of not being as happy as I should be, I have been terrified this would not be as it was, and although, given our past, I had reason to be scared, I had nothing to worry about. God's got this.
