Happy New Year
Apparently I’m no good at this blogging thing. I don’t really do it for the blogging so much to just get stuff off my mind and into the online world, I think this is more like a public diary for me than a blog. I am not worried about building an audience, nor am I looking for the comments, suggestions or whatever. I just every now and then need to get it out.
First I think I will do an update on me and Graham and what’s going on. We still do not have our precious bundle of joy but we are getting so excited because as soon as we can we are doing more treatments. With these treatments I am getting fertility chiropractor adjustments, fertility massages and am taking a cocktail of vitamins so my body has all the necessary levels in order to hold a child.
Not only that but I am slowly building up photography clients and am, hopefully, going to be very busy within the next few months.
And… Last but certainly not least… I just found out one of my VERY BEST FRIENDS is coming to visit me in May. I’m so stoked and CAN NOT WAIT FOR MAY!!
Update on my friend that was in the accident, he is now back home and out of the hospital which I am SO happy for them. He is in therapy and there is hope that he will get 98% usage of his arms back which would be spectacular.
Now this is what I needed to get off my chest.
So in my last post I mentioned that an old friend of mine is pregnant, although I'm still happy for her I'm pretty upset. Im not upset because she's pregnant or that I'm infertile, I'm upset at the way she's handled this. She has completely cut off a 20 year friendship without so much as a boo to me. In the past 6 months or so she has not spoken to me if I haven't messaged her first. when i have she hasn't said to much to me unless its been about her pregnancy. She hasn't spoken a whisper to me since i'd say September, MAYBE october latest. She didn't say happy birthday or merry christmas, not only that she has ignored my attempts at making this relationship continue and misled my mom when she spoke to her about it. Now I found out, through a picture on Facebook, that she decided to go with the baby name that my hubby and I have chose for a girl. In all fairness they chose that name too but she knows what that name is to me and how it is my piece of hope. Im very upset at how she has handled everything. Im not even that upset that she is using the name but more so that after 20 years I'm not worth the respect to let me know why we are no longer friends, especially when i reached out, and call me out on my shit if i did something to upset her! I just don't understand!
I can’t help but think that she ended our friendship on the basis that she is having a baby and I cannot. Which, I think, in her mind that meant we were on completely different levels and she is in a way further spot in life than I am now… which also hurts because when I got married I did not end our friendship just because she was just dating… It is just killing me that my best friend of 20 years is no longer even an acquaintance. I feel like I'm going through a horrible break-up where the other person has not one shred of a thought of me or a speck of care.
Anyway. If she is reading this or not, this is how I feel, and I vowed that this blog would be something I didn’t hold back in. It’s my escape from my thoughts and my way to talk it out, even if the other person wants nothing to do with me, or even if I have no one to talk it out to..
