The Art of Communication is a lost Art

Why is it that when we hurt, we take it out on the ones we love. The funny thing is, they say we take it out on the ones we love best, however, if that were true then the art of communication in a relationship would be dead. I believe we take it out on the ones we love, that we seem to blame, at least partially, our pain on.

For instance, if you are in a relationship and a relative or a friend seems to be threatening that relationship, you take it out on your relative or friend, instead of communicating your pain and trying to solve the issue. Instead you go into simple bliss “you and me against the world” and fight side by side a fight that should have never happened if the art of communication went through every angle.

If you were to just sit down and talk to the person causing the problem there would not be near as much stress, pain or heart ache caused. But we fight, that’s our first instinct is to fight. Not communicate, we fight. Most times, if you are causing pain in a relationship, you wouldn’t even know it.

You never know you’re doing wrong until told so, so you keep doing what you’re doing, unknowingly causing your loved ones to pull away and eventually push you to break free of the friendship or relationship that you thought would never die.

I guess my thinking is if you have a problem deal with the problem when it arises and squash it before it becomes too much to deal with that the only option is to end it and move on.

The other day I was told that the fact that they can go months without talking to me, and pick up right where we left off like no time had passed, was causing issues in their romantic relationship. “Lots of complications” he told me. First and foremost, the myth that girls and guys can’t be friends. Funny thing is, my best friends have always been guys. I’m happily married and would never, and could never do anything to jeopardize my relationship with the man that saved my life. My soul mate. Yet I’m a girl, with a weird sense of humor, and can pick right back where I left off, no matter how much time has passed in my other relationships, or friendships if you will, and that is causing problems for him. Funny thing is, he’s taking it out on me, blatantly ignoring me, instead of talking to me, the art of communication is lost. I don’t believe the problem lies within his girlfriend at all but within him. What the problem is? Well we would need the art of communication for that. A lost art.

Another situation, a girl told me the other day, all she wants to do is hang out with her boyfriend, like all I want to do is hang out with my husband. Yes my husband is my whole world, however, I am my own person, and I still need my own thoughts, friends, interests. As does my husband.

With that said, you don’t get me without my husband, if you cant accept him you don’t get me. If you cant accept me you don’t get him. Which is why it kills me that the friend mentioned above is going to cut me out of his life, because hes been my husbands best friend for 13 years. “Lots of complications” is what im told. Where as all I can see is my best friend is struggling to balance is friends with his relationship, with no reason but his own, and instead of talking to us he is pushing us out to the point that we break the relationship.

Half Moon Run sings a song perfectly for this: Here are the lyrics.

I just wanted
To absolve it
To make peace with
All those weekends
We all just give up
Yeah we all stand down
With a lesson learned
With our eyes half shut
No confusion
It’s been obvious
Hallelujah
I’ve been saved by no one again
And again
But we all just give up
Yeah we all stand down
With a lesson learned
With our eyes half shut

The art of communication, is a lost art. We all just give up