Its been a long time since I posted because my heart has not changed… I am so over infertility, it only took 5 years to stop caring about the challenges of infertility but im there. I have stopped caring about who got pregnant, and my opinion on the matter, im so over fake pregnancy announcements for april fools, and im totally over people walking on egg shells around me.
I have turned a corner..
Now to something that has been on my mind..
I’ve been suffering a lot with thoughts on friendships and relationships. A good friend of mine saw me at my worst the other day when I was forced to say goodbye to someone extremely dear to me. He did not die, he just realized that in order to achieve happiness in his life he had to say goodbye to me, not because of his feelings for me or anything, just because of complications that he may or may not have to deal with in order to keep me as close as he was. This amongst other relationships opening my eyes to see that not everyone is who they say they are, and people can change…
So this makes me wonder… is any friendship lifetime? If so what makes a lifelong friend? I’ve been told that I’m extremely special if you take the time to get to know me and if I drop my guard. So do you need to drop your guard right away or do you give your whole heart to everyone only to eventually get it hurt? Does it take a great sense of humor? Someone to laugh with? Someone to party with and joke with?
I believe that friendship doesn’t die, it changes, or people change. I don’t believe you should exit out of someone’s life just because they have been too good of a friend, so good that they bow out when you make it clear that your friendship is causing problems in your other relationships. If there is nothing more than friendship in the relationship causing issues, then you need to fight for it, you need to make your feelings extremely clear to EVERYONE that your feelings are nothing more than friends, all though friends (real friends) is a close intimate bond, it should not be broken because someone has judged, assumed, or accused it of being more.
I believe friendship is based on truth, no judgment, and support. If someone does something you don’t agree with, it is your job to be there, to support, to help through. They screwed up, they know it, it’s not up to you to make sure they pay hard for whatever they’ve done..
Truth… whoa, what a topic.
Truth… truth can change from person to person… however my truth has opened my eyes to people I thought would never fail me. My truth has broken my trust and built my walls up higher than they’ve ever been. My truth has been shattered a lot over the last year but my trust has not broken me… Its amazing what words can do to a person. It can be something as simple as all of a sudden changing how you act towards someone, whether it be for the good or the bad, can raise suspicion, and can cause relationships to end. You say you’re a good friend, yet you wish harm on people, you say you’re a good friend, yet you lie about others to people. You say you’re always there, yet you ask people to keep secrets for you. Secrets that could do no harm, unless kept as a secret. If you feel you need to control a situation, and defend everyone, voice your opinion even if it has nothing to do with you, and blame it on your belief of what is right or what is wrong, then you are not a true friend. Someone who considers themselves a good friend, just speaks truth, knows exactly who they are, and will not change, form, lie, play games, in order to cause strife, or control a situation.
What makes a true friend… well this is what I have learnt… be there, but not to close, don’t give up, but don’t expect them to not give up. Don’t control but don’t allow yourself to be controlled. Step back when you know you are pushing the envelope, cry when you want to cry, but sometimes keep those tears to yourself. Be truthful, but expect others to not be the same way.
There are a few people that are, and will be, exceptions to this rule, but that may not always be the case.
No comments:
Post a Comment